When did I become so reserved?
I used to be the life of the party, never could shut up, and I was always ready and more than willing to voice my opinion. And I of course, had an opinion about everything.
And today I realized that I am not that person anymore. And I don't like it. I feel boring and reserved and closed up. I don't feel very effective as a teacher, an adult, or a human being. Granted, I am not a law breaker or anything (and I don't want to be)...but I really don't like who I have become. I am not boring, and I never was...so what happened?
I have become so concerned with what people think of me, that I forgot to think about what I think of me. Guess it's time for a change. Granted I have to make this change while still being 'the adult' in my classroom (not like I feel that way now)....maybe this is why I stopped taking pictures, and painting. Time for a change.
No you are not boring!! By any means..I guess its just a part of growing up. I too, find myself being more quiet and not always voicing my opinions when I used to be so quick to do so. Just go back a few steps and figure out what you liked most about yourself and bring it back. I loved how spontaneous you were and your eagerness to learn about everything around you. I am learning when you are excited to come to class and excited about what you are trying to teach the kids will be more excited too. I wrote in my blog...too bad I didn't have excited kids to work with this week either. You may not feel like you have been effective but you are a wonderful caring friend. And you may not know it now but soon...probably near the end of your class your students will realize you did help them learn something and they appreciate. Or they will be like me and stalk facebook until they find the teachers who helped in life and Thank them years down the road. I never knew you were a painter. That's awesome!! Yes, its time to paint something. And I too have fallen into the trap of caring about what other people think..you gotta brush that off. As soon as I start to think like that I play with Dutchess because pets no matter what you may think..they think you are amazing!! :) And I'm sure George does too. I think you are an awesome friend! I am happy to know you! Always have been!
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